• Born in the wrong body...

Born in the wrong body…..

Dear Stanley,

I know this may sound daft but I’m a nine month old sheep dog and my problem is that I’m afraid of sheep! Can you help?

Shep the Border Collie

Dear Shep,

Rest assured, you are not alone. I’ve come across your condition before, specifically in a collie dog called Spot up in the Lake District. Apparently, when he was just twelve-weeks old he was running around in the farm fields, like a mad young puppy is prone to do, when he spotted some sheep in the next paddock, being herded by his uncle, Bob. So looking to get in on the action and start his training, he scampered excitedly towards them, when WHAP ! …he ran into a virtually invisible wire which the farmer had set up across the field; and not just any old wire, mind – this one was connected to an electric battery and so on contact it gave Spot a right old shock which seemed to sizzle all the way through him, giving him an especially horrible judder in his nether regions – not pleasant, I’m sure you’d agree.

Anyway, since then, whenever he sees a sheep he gets a most unpleasant tingle in his undercarriage, and he immediately sets off at some pace  in the opposite direction, whimpering and with his tail between his legs as he does so.

So, as I’m sure you’d agree, that means he certainly isn’t fit to carry out his planned duties, but as fortune would have it, he’s found a new home  and now spends his time looking after a nice family near Kendal, passing his days having lots of fun and taking long walks – but always out of sight of our woolly-backed friends.

So don’t despair, Shep; there’s definitely plenty of room in this world for dogs who can’t fulfil their original vocation. I mean just look at all the rescue dogs I know – never seen one of them rescue anything in all the time I’ve known them, but they don’t seem to worry.

Chin up,

No Comments